Have you paid your bill on time? Great! Here are some punitive charges on your account! Do you use a normal amount of gas in your home? Great! We can offer you one price, and then charge you 50% more throughout the year! Would you like to speak to someone? Great! Here is a chat box operated by a monkey with a typing stick and a progressive degenerative neurological disease! Welcome to British Gas, where the onus is on you to fend off our aggressive and devious charges and we already added to your bill. We know you're too busy to dig into just how hard we're shafting you - and we love it :)