I've been on hold for 2 hours, 5 minutes and 47 seconds. I've never been on hold this long to any other company in my 33 years and 5 months on this earth. I reckon if I rang AXA on 0330 024 8086 at 8am this morning, I'd still be on hold when the world ends. Putting it into context, I could of played a whole football match or watched a film or two episodes of Peaky Blinders or 4 episodes of Friends or driven to London and back again or just in general did something useful with my life in the time that I have had to wait. And what sums it up... they cut me off. Someone pass me a shovel so I can dig out my will to live.