TUI and the old man. TUI- sounds chewy but spelled tea ewe eye Seeking some post lockdown distraction, I felt like a little holiday action and being a kind of sea loving fella i signed up for a trip with TUI's cruise line Marella On boarding ship it was easy to see TUI'd invested much in technologie. And like many another I fell under its spell until I discovered -um -it didn't work very well. And hordes then aboard will their grandchildren tell, among memorable events was the QUEUING from hell. Endless hour after hour waiting in lines that snaked deck to deck like long jungle vines , and irate fellow passengers took time to tell me , it was all the fault of the technologie, and I heard from some loudmouthed, wisecracking fella that TUI should alter the name to the QUEUES line Marella. Disembarking at Marella's Newcastle berth and arriving at a town a fair way from Perth I decided to write to TUI's customer care, not a wild tirade which would be unfair, .but a reasoned account of where things went awry and settled down to await a reply. A month elapsed without ever a word and thinking this a bit absurd I'd try dropping a line to " the man in the know" and I wrote to TUI's C.E.O., A man of courtesy and of action when dealing with customer satisfaction. Guardian of all things tea ewe eye he'd be sure to ensure I received a reply. So I sent off my screed , waited just as before and waited, and waited , then waited some more Then many weeks later from out of the blue, there came a 'phone call from a lady from TU' who offered a pittance in compensation , a sum that would shame a "skint " organization. Totalling £57 , 50 for two full sleepless nights while fighting the elements a sliding door to keep tight. Which with every rough wave shot backwards and fore , letting into the cabin the storm wind's roar'. Add the time spent in the long queueing lines then the further hours unto cabin confined. Banished to a place where I'd no need to be. And the reason?- You guessed it - The technologie. I may be getting quite ancient but my counting's still nifty and figured TUI's offer way under an hourly £2 . 50. At first I accepted just -so to speak - close the book, but on reflection decided this let TUI slide off the hook. So I requested that TUI raise their game a few notches and donate the lot to a Sick Children's Hospice. But TUI no further pennies would proffer and instead were now withdrawing their offer. And there things remained for many, many a day until........Glory Be TUI sent an e-mail my way, Short , succinct and spoken directly. Was there a credible word? Well- they spelled my name correctly. While this in itself would have caused little friction I became annoyed when TUI resorted to fiction. According to their missive TUI was able to trace, an event aboard ship which never took place. So I wrote re TUI's imagination asking for evidence of this fabrication Many long weeks later , again from the blue, there arrived a further e-mail from TU' which never denied they'd told me a whopper but sought to reinstate their original offer. I answered with words of disdain and displeasure having no interest in TUI's parsimonious "treasure". Pointing out TUI's e mail- being untrue -was of greater concern to me and it SHOULD be to TU' Within a few hours I received a reply. Was TUI Embarrassed or bashful? My Eye!! But this letter now said I must desist and go and refrain from troubling TUI so. And I'd get no answers in form or style from Britannia's shores or Erin's green Isle. And just to add a little insult to bother this was penned by TUI's fiction scribing author. While TUI may have riches too great to mention . I'm an octogenarian with an old age pension . And though far more than TUI I have cause to be thrifty I've donated more to the Hospice than TUI's fifty seven pounds fifty. And should it cross TUI's mind that they could have handled things better, all they ever needed to do was answer my letter. Charles P. Connor