I ordered some Finlay seating units on 29 January 2016 from the Kingston branch. The sales assistant said they should be with me by Easter, although the normal delivery time was 8 to 10 weeks. Easter came and went with no delivery. March 25 (8 weeks) came and went too, as did April 9 (10 weeks). Throughout this period, I was calling John Lewis, both the store and their distribution centre no-one could tell me whether the gods had been made and/or where they were. What was particularly galling was that these seating units would have taken about two days max to make and upholster. As is often the case with John Lewis, they build in long lead times as a means of financing themselves. In this case, they'd had GBP 1,500.00 of my money since January 29. Eventually, I received a call and a delivery date was agreed, viz 4 May between the hours of 07.00 and 14.00. At about 9.00, a lady from their Park Royal distribution centre called to say that the delivery was en route, but that they did not have all the units. They could not find them all. I said that I had taken time off work and was not prepared to take two days off to receive two deliveries. She said that I had (sic) to wait for the partial delivery. I asked her whether, if she ordered a Christmas turkey, would she take delivery if only the legs were going to turn up with the rest of the bird expected at some unspecified date in the future? I told her to call the delivery lorry and cancel the delivery, as I was not going to be in. She told me that, once out, their delivery lorries could not be contacted. I subsequently discovered that was a downright lie. After a few complaints, another delivery date was agreed, viz 26 May. To "compensate" me for the shocking service, they gave me a two hour slot between 17.00 and 19.00. At 13.30, a message was left on my phone from the Park Royal delivery centre to say that they could not trace parts of my order. There was still a chance the order would be out that night, but it might be the following day. The caller said they would waive the GBP 19.00 surcharge for the two hour delivery slot !!!! I called to express my disgust (I was in no way impolite) and asked them to call me by 10.00 on 27 May to confirm delivery. They did call...to say that they could not find the arms that went with my units. I told them that, after 4 months, they could keep their goods and I now await the rebate to my credit card. That evening, a person from John Lewis called to ask me whether my delivery had arrived ok and if I was pleased with the goods. I asked him whether the left hand of John Lewis knew what the right hand was doing, as no delivery had been made and I had cancelled the order having waited 4 months for it. The next day, I received an illiterate e-mail apologising and offering me a GBP 100 John Lewis voucher. Here is my e-mailed reply: Dear Mr Khan, Thank you very much for expressing your concern and for calling me earlier. As for the £100 gift card, please kindly find the person responsible for the disgraceful way in which I have been treated and insert it into their cloaca. Of course, vertebrate mammals do not possess a cloaca, but I cannot believe that the person who caused this mess was a homo sapiens. If they are, then I leave it to you to decide where to insert it. I certainly want no gift voucher from you. Regards Paul Luke